What is it that holds us back from getting into conversation with someone whom we may find being compatible with. Is it our fear of rejection or is the fear of not being able to shatter our trust? Or is it sheer ignorance! Or is it the fear of building and carrying the weight of a relationship?
The question remains hanging in my mind like a pendulum, swinging from one point of view to the other.
Yes, it is difficult to get started, and this holds true, not only for conversations or relationships but for everything, yes the first step is definitely tough!
Here in India, any guy wanting to talk to a girl whether it is in a bar / nightclub, a decent restaurant or even at work place is seen as just another way to hit on her. This negativity works in a slightly different way in the other case i.e. the vice-versa scenario.
Girls , in the first place would rarely approach a guy ( they consider that to be “men thing“ to do ) , but in the exceptional case that they do so , it is seen in a bad light as in the girl is considered to be “chaalu” or in other words very extrovert ( and not in good way ).
Why can’t our culture accept the concept of healthy opposite sex relationships? Anytime 2 people of the opposite sex are seen together, we tend to become judgmental even with our complete lack of any facts or information.
Heads still turn when anybody is friendly with the opposite sex. Many of us bear the brunt of these societal pressures, but can we do anything about it?
In metropolitan cities like Delhi (I’ve been there ) and Mumbai ( I’ve heard) , tend to have grown a little more mature , where things like sharing apartments ( without being related ) , live-in relationships are increasing in number and at the same time their acceptance is also slightly improving. Though there is still a huge section of people in our society who are completely biased and shun all this saying that this is cheap imitation of the western culture. Is it really true? Or is this a fact that this is what we want to do deep down … is the next gen becoming more open to doing what we want and giving a damn to anything else??
Is this like a total disregard to India’s deep rich heritage, values or culture? Or is it just acceptance of ideas other than our own? Is it just another aspect of globalization …i.e. the whole world coming together?
Whatever it may be, but what we need to realize is that we do need to take in all this and take it in good humor, rather than cribbing and complaining. Change is always difficult to accept, and in our case it is definitely slow and steady (I guess making it easier to soak up).
Whether this change is for better or for worse is another story altogether. This tends to become an endless debate and then the younger generation calls it generation gap, while the older ones call it being just way too brazen.
All said and done, my point of view on this is that it’s just a mere change, and not a revolution – as a sudden gush of ideas. And it’s always better to accept it, maybe with a few alterations here and there (made to one’s inclination/fondness – customization being the keyword here).
Thus giving the phrase “ breaking the ice “ a totally different meaning i.e. letting new ideas to break in , letting newer thoughts to flow in more and breaking down the shackles of constraint and not letting ourselves being held down or restrained by anything or anyone . Living our life in a way which we love and letting others live theirs too.
If we can appreciate what we have, and also take in and agree to newer thoughts, I guess it’s possible to co-exist happily and contentedly ever after!
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